Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Good Stock....the cure for "cold feet"
"How do you know you are ready to be married?"
I get this question a lot from different people. To be honest I have even asked myself that question. My confidence in whether or not I am ready has never really faltered. But where I have struggled (apparently) is in finding a way to convey this to the masses. I mean there is way too many of you to KEEP explaining this over and over again (BTW - why are there so many of you anyway?)
When questioning yourself about anything especially in terms of "readiness" it requires that you take an assessment of not only where you are and where you've been- most importantly where you come from. When I look at the people in my life that helped me become who I am today - I realized something.
I COME FROM GOOD STOCK.
The bible says that "a man does not live on bread alone" and that "as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you" (Det 8:3-4). To me- that means that I am not a man simply because I am male. Instead, I am the sum of years of instruction and influence. So if there is ever a question as to what kind of man I am or what kind of husband or father I will be - look at the men around me and you'll see.
I COME FROM GOOD STOCK.
"He who finds a wife find what's good and favor from the Lord" (Pro. 18:22)
You know some people even have the AUDACITY to ask "How do you know she is the one?". Here again it's implied that there is some assessment which led me to the OBVIOUS (smile) conclusion that she is not only from good stock - but the BEST stock for me. Let's be real people. There is ALWAYS an assessment but that is not really the point. If you question how I know she is the one - just look at the women who have raised and help raise me and the answer is obviously -
I KNOW GOOD STOCK WHEN I SEE IT (ha! - thought you had it figured out didn't you).
To sum it all up - you really never know that answers to any of these questions. At first at least. I didn't just choose Aliah based off of some checklist or because she makes me feel good. I did it because in my heart, mind, and spirit this was not only what I wanted to do but what I was led to do. I prayed on - I got my answer - and here we are people. We are not fools - we are aware of the high divorce rate and the odds being stacked against it. But if you go into it with something that when the times get rough its stock goes up - not down - you'll be better off. I have FAITH that this will work - and in the end that's enough to keep off the cold feet. Is that a guarantee for a "till death do us part" - Nope.
God helps those that helps themselves - this is not in the bible but its a common phrase used by Christians and I think it applies here. Just as an example that when you ask for somebody to help you - its not really help if you let them do it FOR you (vs. with you). Faith in this case is no different. I can ask him for help all I want - but if we don't work 100% at this ourselves - we will be in trouble. I am committed to that -and I am sure that she is. So with all that said - why should I have any "cold feet"?
Here is the best part though - Cold feet or not. We don't have to prove anything to anyone but each other. I have her vote and she has mine. I think its pretty evident. And if you can't see it...
Maybe you need to look at some other stocks to invest in. Namely your own. (that's meant with all love.. no salt. I promise!).
Here endeth the lesson.